1. What’s up with the taps?
Why oh why? This beggars belief, all other countries use a mixer design. Did the British learn nothing from their Empire?
2. The lack of electrical outlets in the bathroom
Where do you plug your hairdryer in? Yes, we get water and electricity shouldn’t mix but we’ve never seen a nation so preoccupied with safety.
3. Oh and carpets in the bathrooms? Really?
Gross! British people, gross! It’s going to get all soggy, tiles are a much better idea.
4. And why don’t British people take their shoes off in the house?
What about the dirt from the street? Where are your house slippers?
5. Why have switches on plug sockets?
Other countries don’t have switches! We’ll be like “why isn’t our phone charging?” – because it’s NOT ON AT THE WALL!
6. It terrifies us that British pedestrians just nip across roads and don’t use the crossing
We have laws against this in Poland to keep people alive! It’s like watching a lethal version of Frogger.
7. British people never dress right for the weather
They’re always too hot OR running around at night, utterly freezing.
8. And if our mother sees a photo of Prince George she’ll be…
“How has he not frozen to death?” Polish mums. Hat panic. It’s a thing.
9. But one of the biggest learning steps is understanding when a British person means “no”
British people write five paragraphs instead of getting to the point and it’s easy to misunderstand that as “maybe”. Polish people are much more direct.
10. And British people apologising ALL THE TIME
We learnt (after much confusion) that “I’m sorry” often means they’re being sympathetic.
11. But we’ll never stop being amused by the quirky British phrases
See also: “pulling your leg” and “taking the piss”.
12. And going to a British supermarket for the first time is unexpectedly hilarious
13. And the pubs are great
ou’ll know you’re a true Brit when you can spot a ‘spoons by the smell.
14. And the chip butties…
Come on, British people, eat some salad.
15. But we confess… the puddings are lip-smackingly awesome
Oh, and the custard. OH THE CUSTARD, it’s like a nation of hobbits eating comfort food. It’s so endearing.
16. But we’re also delighted that we can get all the Polish food in the UK
Polish bread, sour rye soup – it’s all there. We’re so proud of the success of Polish people in the UK – all 800,000 of them. There’s so many Polski shops and businesses that some call areas like Hammersmith Little Poland.
17. And we’ve learnt that British and Polish people have much in common
There’s a reason over 800,000 Poles have come to the UK and it’s not just that we all learn English at school. There’s something special in this country that we want to stay. We don’t want to leave….